Ways to Bring Positive Energy into Your Marriage
Note: - It might be a bit of a challenge initially
in some relationships, but just keep at it
When you observe a negative energy brewing up in
your marriage/relationship, get help and don’t allow it to degenerate into
irreversible state, meaning seeking for help should not be delayed. It is much
easier to change negative patterns of interacting when you and your partner
still feel connected in your relationship. Delaying to address serious problems
when the relationship has been reduced to an occasional spark may take
extraordinary means to revive again the feelings of love and mutual
understanding.
1.
Form the habit of calming down during
argument
2.
Exercise restrains about the way your
heart race during strife.
3.
Replace the negative tape playing out
in your mind with a positive one
4.
Plan vacation together, go to the
theater or a place of relaxation to relief off stress
Avoid been defensive
Ø Do
not mock or insult your partner
Ø Do
not be too critical of your spouse or partner
Ø Do
not attack or criticize the person of your partner
Ø Avoid
mind reading
Ø Go
straight to the points
Ø Do
not permit or allow shifting of blame
Ø Explain
how you feel.
Ø Ensure
you guide against falling into any of these
Ø Complain
or express disappointment or unhappiness repeatedly
Ø Always
making excuses
Ø Cross-complaining
Ø Avoid
reacting to unconfirmed negative mind reading
Ø Never
deny your responsibility
Ø Avoid
phrases like ‘Yes I did it too, but you first did?’
Ø Stop
sounding like a broken record, meaning don’t keep on repeating yourself
Validate Each Other: -
Simply means to make something/somebody acceptable
or approved, especially after careful examination. Therefore, validating one
another is a right step to restoring back your relationship and men in
particular ought to really work on this area, understanding the feelings and yearnings
of their partner, so as to proffer genuine solutions. Again is putting yourself
in better-half shoes considering his/her emotional state.
How validation should be
done;
Ø By
being honest with your compliments to your partner for a job well done or of
tackling an issue
Ø Acknowledge
your shortcoming in the conflict, which might have been handled differently by
you
Ø Apologize
when wrong
Ø At
the very least, acknowledge his/her viewpoint
Learn of other
continually. Even when you do not feel
comfortable about it and the main reason for this is to create avenue for continual
communication with each other. Start with a completely harmless topic like; what
will you like to have for breakfast, lunch or analyzing a book or movies.
How Do You Know When to
Seek Help or Suggest Doing So to a Friend?
Although there is no one with a perfect marriage
and almost every couple can do with some help at one time or other with their
marriage. Couples should seek for counseling with an experience trained
therapist to improve the standard of their marriages even when their marriages
are not experiencing negative energy and or unduly distressed. You do not need
to be in a troubled relationship/marriage to be in counseling/marital therapy,
and when this path is chosen its kinds of enhances such relationships/marriage.
Often times, couples with high degrees of marital trouble fight a great deal without
leading to any resolution, but simply a sense of being worn out. Or they may
not fight, but simply feel completely disconnected.
They stop doing nice things together and for each
other, they stop communicating, and as a result things go from bad to worse. Most
times having arguments that don’t get settled, loss of good feelings or understanding,
and loss of friendship, sex and vitality are sure signs that a marriage is seriously
under stress. Other signs, such as contempt, withdrawal, violence, and a
complete loss of connection, it’s only a pointer or signal that a marriage is
in desperate trouble and is at high risk of divorce.
Sometimes marital problems are purely about
problems in the relationship such as communication, solving problems, arguing,
intimacy, and sex. These kinds of problems often start with partners who simply
do not have a good sense of what marriage is and how important communication is
and how to provide support. On the other hand couples may do well at the
beginning, particularly in the earliest stages of their relationship, but are
not adequately ready for the longer-term tasks in marriage.
Research shows that while the risks of marital
turbulent and separation are highest early in marriage, coupled with children’s
arrival till the children reaches adolescence the risks kept growing. An
extramarital affair will throw any marriage into distress with its devastating effects
on the partners which often leads to great sadness, anxiety, a high level of
tension, and problems such as depression and feeling of hatred. If not dealt
with immediately, the effect on families would be so profound, particularly
when conflict is high. Meanwhile, even the children raised in this kind of
setting tend to have many more problems than other children………
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