Dealing
with Personality Differences
This chapter deals more on the common
problems or faults associated with marriages or any relationships, which if not properly handle
could result in either party going separate ways.
In marriage one never really get to
understand the differences that existed with one's partner in relations to social, spiritual and intellectual
background and moreso their emotional maturity, until after
the wedding. The above fact posses a great threat to any marriage because it
actually takes time, patience and energy to know the taste and preferences of
each partner/spouse.
Lets examine the case of Polly
Wiggles-worth, despite been educated more than her husband, never flaunted her academic
achievement before him but rather she combined tact with wisdom to get the
differences between them blended up to make their living together a harmonious
one. In as much as
education is very important, but in marriage it should never be flaunted by
either partner against the other. Polly blended well her spouse’ weakness to
her own strength and vice versa and she did that beautifully well, thereby
making herself a jewel and indeed a precious ruby to her husband.
There are basic differences which all partners must face; the area of
personality trait, which develop as a result of a variety of inherited traits
and life experiences. People have their own different peculiar characteristics
and temperament, attitudes and habits, contacts and experience, deprivation and
satisfaction. The inability to really understand these differences had and
still causing problems in so many marriages today. Meanwhile, the belief that couple brings along with themselves different
personality traits such as; physical characteristic, interest and abilities,
and if this is not effectively managed, in a way that could complement each
other, then the much needed peace would elude such relationship/marriage.
It may take a great deal of adjustment
to your spouse weakness and acceptance to mediate these differences.
Cooperation and appreciation of each other’ strength and weakness will go a
long way in easing these adjustment. To understand this personality
differences is to accept with gratitude and appreciation to God who planned to
make of two incomplete parts, a perfect whole. That is making the strengths of
one spouse to blend with other spouse’ weaknesses to be perfect.
DO
YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO MARRY?
Marriage, quoting from the previous
chapter is a holy union between two souls of the opposite sex, which is
divinely ordained by the Creator Himself for the purpose of procreation. Then
there are things we need to understand about marriage, its successes and
failures, of which is the genesis of problems in homes. Marriage is likens to a
garden planted by God to be nurtured by couples with divine tools or materials
such as Love and Sex. ‘But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy,
peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance:
against such there is no law’. Galatians 5; 22-23.
Garden is a beautiful well structured
piece of land that is decorated with series of flower beds, its like a
recreational park where people troop in to relax and behold its beauty. It is not a farm land where bushes and farm
produce grows, and a place of dwelling for wild animals. Garden must of
necessity be constantly kept clean, from thorns, weeds and anything that will
stop its beauty and glory. If proper attention is not given to its care it
could be destroyed by these two agents
Just like the illustration of a garden
is given above, same can be said of a good marriage. It must be kept clean ‘Love’
at all times by either spouse; there must not be rooms for any external
interference ‘Sex’ as this could destroy its beauty. It must be devoid of Laziness,
Un-forgiveness, Dirty habits, Selfishness, Malice, Hypocrisy, Secrecy,
Stubbornness, Pride, Stinginess, Cruelty, Harsh word, Extravagance,
Prayerlessness, Excessive demand, Un-submissiveness and Self-centeredness.
Many of these would be dealt with in
the subsequence chapter so as to drive home the point. All these are the major
problem in homes, more also there are some things to note that brings out
sweetness and good fragrance in homes and these are; Love, Openness, Non Interference, Good
Prayer Altar, Good Personal Interaction, Humility, Truthfulness, Generosity,
Regular Contact, Prudent with money and Selflessness...................
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